Do We Forfeit?

Wow! It has been awhile since I have been able to blog or even read Captivating, but today between the craziness of the weekend and with finals coming up it was nice to be able to take a break and read today!

What haunts women today? How does someone answer that?

So many women today do not realize what they are doing wrong, or how to deal with what they are feeling on the inside. Many women (especially in college) are addicted to “chick-flicks”. Not that these movies are bad, but some women tend to lose themselves in the media and hope that they will be like Kiera Knightley in Pride and Prejudice, and meet the man of her dreams and have this epic fairytale that results in living happily ever after. For most couples the man did not coming sweeping in on a white horse to save the day.

Never the less, women become consumed in hiding themselves in these love stories. The thing is women were designed to long for this, but not to indulge in the pleasures of the world. Stasi Elderidge writes that women fall into two categories of being dominating women or desolate women.

For the dominating woman, she is always in charge, and never wants to let anyone help her. When it comes to love she hides her feelings, because she does not want to be vulnerable and in the end be hurt. “”[A dominating women]…refuses to be vulnerable. And if she cannot secure her relationships, then she kills her hearts longing for intimacy so that she will be safe and in control. “-Staci  How true is this? VERY TRUE!

On the opposite end there is the desolate woman who is to vulnerable. She desperately longs to be loved even to the point that she is willing to give herself over to men who are unworthy. In the end she gets hurt. A desolate woman themselves down knowing that if a guy really knew who they were then they just know for sure the guy wouldn’t like them.

Would it be right to say that as women we are cursed from Eve? Gosh that sounds harsh, but reading through Captivating I have come to realize how true that statement is.  For Eve was driven by enchantment and curiosity when she ate the forbidden fruit, but as Staci says “Adam doesn’t exactly ride to [Eve’s] rescue either”. (She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Genesis 3:6)

As women we can not forfeit our feelings, but embrace how God emotionally and physically weaved us together. It is not by mistake that we have longing to be desired, but we can’t become dominating and shut out all vulnerability or desolate and just give ourselves to men who are unworthy. God longs for us to be consumed by his presents and the ultimate love story that he has for us. Once we grasp his love, Maya Angelou says it perfectly;

“A woman should be so hidden in Jesus Christ that a man has to seek God to find her.”

Beauty To Unveil

As women, it is safe to say that we all want to be thought of as beautiful.  Whether we are told by our best friend, boy friend, or stranger walking down the street, every girl would like to be defined as beautiful. This desire of beauty did not evolve over the past few years, but has been around for ages.  In this section of Captivating author Stacie Eldredge spends a good portion on not just the happiness that beauty has called, the grief as well. The world that we are living in today has defined beauty as skinny, tall, dark, maybe blond, perfect skin, white teeth, and the list goes on. I have to ask though is that really want people see as  beautiful or perfection. I know they look amazing on the outside, but what is depth in which their spirit holds.  Do you ever get those boxes of chocolate and you pick one up because it is looking really good, but once you take a big bite you taste the awful filling that some of those candies have? Exactly. It’s nasty. In a way this is how people can be. They seem beautiful and well put together, but inside they are just not very nice people. Looking at examples that from this section, she used Ruth and Esther. Ruth was probably astounding in beauty, but her work ethic and being a strong women allowed her to be recognized by Boaz. As for Esther, is plainly says yes she was the most beautiful girl in the empire, but her courage and driven attitude is what saved her people.

All I ask is to realize you ARE beautiful!! Inside and out be a woman of beauty and integrity. Leaving you with a song to think about:

I want to be beautiful

And make you stand in awe

Look inside my heart

And be amazed

I want to hear you say

Who I am is quite enough

I just want to be worthy of love

And Beautiful.

-Bethany Dillon, “Beautiful”

What is beauty to you? Not based on the worlds definition, but Gods. The divine creator who made each of us uniquely in his own image. Crazy to think, but each one of us is an original masterpiece hand-made by the one who sees no flaws in us and gives us a reason to live our lives out beautifully for him.

The Heart of a Women

Some of you may know I just started reading the book Captivating.  The book has emphasized the truth about a uncovering the mystery’s of a woman’s soul. Each week I hope to read and blog about at least two chapters and talk about how important they are in helping unveil the heart of women.

You belong among the wildflowers

You belong in a boat out at sea

You belong with your love on your arm

You belong somewhere you feel free

-Tom Petty